Having a kid is a strange thing…not something to be taken lightly, but once it happens you find that your whole world changes. Some good changes and some not so good. That last fact is hard to admit, since kiddies are meant to be the bestest thing that ever happens to you, the be-all-and-end-all that your parents like to talk about. They did it, you’re living proof, so why don’t you?
You never get to hear about how your parents might have had to compromise on their desires when you were born. Me, I don’t get that too much. I’m the youngest of three and an admitted accident so I think the damage was done well before I turned up.
The point I was hoping to make was about the whole parenting thing. It seems to be an effort to get your kid to learn, but at the same time to break their will. We’re having problems with getting Luke to sleep at the moment, so much so that some nights he’s still awake 3 hours after we’ve put him to bed. I can’t blame him, he just wants to play, but the answer seems to be to ignore him (controlled crying), detain him (close his bedroom door) or chastise him (shouting and slapping, if you’re into that sort of thing, not that I am, yet, but we’ll see). All three seem designed to break his will, assert control over his actions and life. They mean taking a young, happy little kid and making them miserable for however long it takes for them to learn their lesson.
I know, I know, it has to be done to raise a well-adjusted kid and all that guff, it just seems so shite – sometimes I wish I were him, running around nekkid shouting ‘buuuuhhhhh’ at the cats, emptying the bookshelves onto the floor and generally making crap of the place. I hate to kill off that spirit in him, but if we don’t make an attempt to control it he won’t last 10 minutes when he goes to school. I’d never thought of that before, but then again, I never thought very much about having a kid.
I think children’s self-expression is great – until about 7pm. You need a normal life as well, and children have to learn to fit in a bit, so I hope you can bite the bullet a bit and be ruthless about not rewarding him for being awake after the time you want him to sleep. The ignoring works best, I think – although I’m less sure now, having ignored my daughter’s appendicitis for over a month.
Failing that, there’s always the advice I got from an Italian woman on alt.parenting.twins-triplets when I asked about ways of getting children off to sleep: “An intoxicated child is a quiet child.”
I hope you do work something out. Sleep is very very important, for everyone.
We’re getting there with him – he’s getting used to going to sleep on his own and once Luke is asleep, he stays asleep, TF. Usually he doesn’t get up until 8:00 – 8:30 next morning, so we can’t really complain about that.
I’d hate to have to get his pissed to get him to sleep – it’s a waste of good spirits. A bit merry, however, is all right in my book so we gave him a tinny of Kronenbourg to help his on his way to the land of nod. (http://lukeconnolly.co.uk/albums/petes/luke_with_krony1.sized.jpg)
No doubt I’ll be reported to Social Services for this
He he
I’ll have to scan in a similar picture of our Isobel with a bottle of Double Diamond!
Hi Cliff
You don’t know how little encouragement it took to get him swigging like a navvy out of that tin. Luckily, there was sod-all left in the thing, but he seems to like it.
At the moment, he’s upstairs, meant to be asleep but shouting down about us being ‘his bes frens’ in the whole world, ‘yiz bastids’. I think we might have an answer to the nature or nurture question